


It Was A Dark and Stormy Night

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Humor, Multi-Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2004-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-24 17:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3777898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Midnight musings for the "Dark and Stormy Night" challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Improving (?) on the Original (The Treachery of Isengard)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

It was a dark and stormy night and black swarms of orcs laboured far below, pulling down the ancient groaning trees and tearing their hapless victims limb-from-limb, the nightmare scene lit in flickering doomlight as the lightning flashed through the casement, followed by the thundering growl as of a savage wild beast prowling about the smooth black stone tower, now slick and shining from the caress of the pounding rain, while their leader, a foul creature cowering before the tall, hook-nosed figure of the wizard whose obsidian eyes reflected the swirling intensity of the orb gripped between his cupped hands as his white-seeming robes shimmered and changed, confusing the eye, bowed himself obsequiously to the ground and whispered in an evil voice, 'What is your command, my Master?'


	2. Having Never Deliberately Written a Mary Sue Before...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnight musings for the "Dark and Stormy Night" challenge

'Frodo,' I said breathlessly, my heaving bosom straining against the laces of my slightly-torn bodice which was as cornflower blue as the eyes staring dreamily into mine, 'Don't you think we ought to at least _try_ to flee that giant spider crouching there behind those rocks, rather than pulling out that rather pretty but ineffectual-looking glass of water--or is it perfume that you got for me, darling, to celebrate our first kiss?'

(too too silly. But the challenge did say "worst ever" fanfic)


	3. The Dwarf's Conundrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnight musings for the "Dark and Stormy Night" challenge

'You want me to do _what_?' Gimli growled incredulously, staring at the Wood Elf who wore a silly grin--no, a _very_ silly grin--on his aristocratic face.


	4. Mission Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnight musings for the "Dark and Stormy Night" challenge

I'll never forget the look in my father's eyes as he said, 'Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to ride to a mythical place named "Imladris"--assuming it exists at all--seeking for a creature of legend called "the Halfling", and when you find him, find out exactly what "Isildur's Bane" is and how to make it go back to sleep if it is a menace to Minas Tirith, and in the meantime offer the services of our smiths to fix that broken sword, at a bargain price, of course, and as usual if you should be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.'


	5. Hobbit Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnight musings for the "Dark and Stormy Night" challenge

'Pippin's ill--seriously ill?' Merry said, dread seizing his heart as he thought of all the close calls his dearest younger cousin had suffered, in terms of accidents, mishaps, and severe illness, while the healer laid a sympathetic hand on his uncle's shoulder and his aunt sobbed softly into her pocket-handkerchief.

 

***alternative version***

'Merry's ill--seriously ill?' Pippin said, dread seizing his heart as he thought of all the close calls his dearest older cousin had suffered, in terms of accidents, mishaps, and severe illness, while the healer laid a sympathetic hand on his uncle's shoulder and his aunt sobbed softly into her pocket-handkerchief.

 

***alternative version***

'Frodo's ill--seriously ill?' Pippin said, dread seizing his heart as he thought of all the close calls his dear older cousin had suffered, in terms of accidents, mishaps, and severe illness, while the healer laid a sympathetic hand on Merry's shoulder and Samwise sobbed softly into his pocket-handkerchief.


End file.
